Too much Anger, Too many Arguments 01

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After you have won your battle with the problem of making excuses, let’s now move on to the next battle front where one more potential enemy is waiting to be conquered by us. This enemy is the one who can take control of our mind for a short duration of time and then make us say and do the worst type of things which we may regret later on and which can cause so much damage to us and sometimes this damage can be an irreversible in nature. Yes, we are talking about the problem of too much anger. The habit of having too much anger is a problem which can spoil even the best of the things achieved by you and which at times, can make others ignore even the best qualities in you and leave you.

Hence if you have this problem of excessive anger, you will need to get rid of it in order to make yourself a better person and in order to achieve more and more good things in your life and most importantly, in order to retain whatever good things or good people you have already achieved in your life because the worst type of damage done by anger is that it can snatch even the most valuable and the dearest people or achievements from you.

It should be noted that a certain amount of anger or aggression is a must needed quality if we want to achieve big things in our life and without anger or aggression; nothing great or even big can be achieved in most cases. Hence anger or aggression is not a bad thing in itself but not knowing how to channelize such anger or aggression, is the problem. Even the problem of getting too angry is not the one which will stop you from achieving big or very things in your life, though it has a strong tendency to take those things and especially people, away from you. For this reason, learning to control your anger becomes very important as you won’t want to let go of the things or people in which you have invested so much of your effort, time and care. In order to treat this problem of excessive anger, let’s try to find the root cause of this problem and then start dealing with it from that root itself.

Not all people are born equal in terms of their physical and mental composition and accordingly there are some people who in comparison to an average person, are gifted with much more physical or mental energy, whether this energy is positive or negative. As the amount of energy running through their body or mind is much more than an average person, it is easy to understand that these people need more and more ways to find an exit for this energy or find more and more jobs to utilize this energy. By virtue of their past life karmas as well as by virtue of their present life karmas and efforts, some of these people find proper directions to channelize this energy and these are the people who are seen achieving big or very big things in various spheres of life as they have much more energy to perform and accordingly they have better chances of achieving more and more.

To be Continued

Himanshu Shangari

 

Too many Excuses and Justifications 02

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As a result, the next job or a job which comes a few jobs after the first job is once again not completed in a timely or proper manner and once again you use your best weapon which you have discovered recently and which is the weapon of making excuses when you should have acted responsible to start with or you should have cleanly admitted your fault and apologized. As you expected or wished, this weapon strikes the target and once again you are saved from saying sorry and this is where you start believing in this weapon more and more and accordingly you start sending more and more messages to your subconscious mind with each one of such excuses, where such messages say that, making excuses is much better than being responsible since it is easier between the two and at the same time, it makes you feel smarter as you are now able to fool more and more people, or so to say this is what you think.

But in reality, just like the first time, the other person has only bought your excuses not because you have fooled him but because he trusts you and hence he does not doubt your words. This is once again due to the fact that even at this point, you still have a clean image or reputation and people don’t think that you are an irresponsible or undependable person. But as your trick worked once again, it gives you more and more reasons to put less effort in your work and more efforts in making such wonderful excuses which give you a great feeling of being smarter than many other people on this earth and so you start doing it more often. Accordingly, your conscious mind starts sending more and more messages to your subconscious mind that you are willing to make excuses rather than acting responsible and with these repeated and frequent messages, your subconscious mind registers a new script which says that, making excuses is much better than being responsible and taking all the pain to do a job in a proper or timely manner.

As a result, your subconscious mind keeps on giving you more and more reasons not to complete any job given to you, in a proper or timely manner and as this continues, you start making more and more excuses to the people who gave you different jobs from time and time and finally a time comes when you project an image of being irresponsible, undependable and untrustworthy. At this point, most of the people around you, start believing that you are not a trustworthy person and accordingly they start avoiding you. Even though you become aware of this new and negative image of yours, but it is very late to change yourself back to a responsible or trustworthy person now, as your subconscious mind considers you as a person who is irresponsible and who is good at making excuses. Accordingly, your subconscious mind will put much resistance when you start to change yourself back to what you originally were because you first wanted your subconscious mind to believe that you are an irresponsible person who is good at making excuse and even though it took you a long time to make your subconscious mind believe you but it finally believed you.

Hence your subconscious mind started supporting you in a way you wanted, by giving you more and more reasons to not complete your jobs in timely or proper manner and then by suggesting you better and better looking excuses to save your grace and to fool other people. This is what you asked your subconscious mind to do for you and even though it took your subconscious mind a lot of time to start working according to your wish, but it finally started working according to the script given by you and by the time you realize that you have given a wrong script to your subconscious mind and you want to change it, it is very late if not too late as your subconscious mind is now comfortable executing the old script and it does not want to change the script now, at least not easily. Hence it puts great resistance when you want to change it. This is why it is said that, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

As we continue with this topic, we will look at some simple but effective remedies which can help you get rid of this problem.

To be Continued

Himanshu Shangari

Too Many Excuses and Justifications 01

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One more negative habit which can cause problems for you in various spheres of your life is the habit of making too many excuses or giving too many justifications when you should have spent all the time wasted in these activities, in doing correctly what you were supposed to do. It is a common trait among many people that they will not do what is required of them in a proper or timely manner and sometimes they do not do it at all and when they are asked for an explanation why did they not do their job properly or timely, instead of admitting their mistake, they will start making excuses and giving justifications as to why could not they complete their job in a proper or timely manner. Even though many of such people making such excuses think that they have convinced the other person with their perfect looking excuses and justifications but in reality, such excuses look perfect to them only and from the point of view of the other person, such excuse and justifications only add fuel to the fire.

Yes, I know that almost all of us can sometimes face a situation when due to certain unavoidable circumstances beyond our control, we are not able to complete our job in a proper or timely manner and it is fine if it stays only till here. But if you have developed a habit of not doing your job in a proper or timely manner most of the time and then make excuses, it does become a serious concern as slowly but surely, you will start losing your credibility and more and more people will avoid giving you important tasks or jobs, or any jobs to start with since you are a person who they can’t depend on and most of the people in this world including you and me, would not want to give an important job to someone who is not dependable.

Hence it is a big problem and if you have this habit you should start doing the things needed in order to get rid of this negative habit and in order to do so, we will first look at the root cause of this habit as we always do and then we will work towards the activities which can help you get rid of this problem. This problems starts from some point back in the time, when you could not do something in a proper and timely manner and instead of admitting your mistake, you decided to make an excuse or give a justification. As you made this excuse, it was accepted by the other person and accordingly your mistake or irresponsibility was ignored and this very fact gave you a negative type of motivation which said that if you are smart enough to save yourself from apologizing in front of various people, then why apologize and why not make such wonderful excuses more and more.

Kindly also consider this fact at the same time that since you have made such an excuse for the very first time, this is the primary reason that the other person has not doubted your sincerity and he has accepted your excuses as a genuine problem that you may have faced while doing his job because at this point, you have not developed a reputation of being a person who does not do his job in a proper and timely manner and then makes excuses. So the other person trusts you and he thinks that you may have faced a genuine problem due to which you could not complete his job on time or in proper manner and this whole practice has actually nothing to do with your smartness in making excuses as you think. But as you start thinking that you are smart enough to make such excuses which can save you from saying sorry or from apologizing, you tend to put less effort and less concentration on your next job as you already know by now that even if the job is not completed in a proper or timely manner, there is something special about you which will save you from all the trouble.

To be Continued

Himanshu Shangari

 

Lack of Discipline 04

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And now coming to the habit of lack of discipline in various other spheres of life, some of you may have this habit of lack of discipline which is nothing else but failing to comply with or ignoring some sets of rules or codes of conduct in your day to day life. Such rules are generally not very difficult to obey and you can obey most of them without much trouble whereas not obeying them will certainly keep you away from success on top levels and hence you should start doing conscious effort in order to get rid of this negative habit of lack of discipline and you should instead make friends with the habit of discipline which will come to you automatically as the habit of lack of discipline goes away because one of these habits will stay with you for sure and only one of these can stay with you at a time. Hence as the negative habit of lack of discipline leaves you, the positive habit of maintaining discipline will reach you or in other words, as discipline reaches you, lack of discipline will leave you.

In order to find some activities for effective treatment of this negative habit of lack of discipline, let’s first try to look into the root of this habit as the effective solution for this problem will come from its root only, as always is the case. People start developing this habit of lack of discipline when at a point of time they conscious start avoiding some simple rules or code of behavior which are called discipline.

For example, coming home at night and parking your car on the road outside your house when you have a due parking place in your garage and you don’t have a plan to go anywhere before the next morning, taking your shirt off and then leaving it on sofa instead of putting or hanging it in the cupboard or other ones of its proper place, having your dinner sometimes at 9, sometimes at 10 and sometimes even at 11 in the evening even when you return home from your office at 8 PM on daily basis, leaving the gas tank of your car empty at night when you could easily get it filled on the way home and when this is the only car you have and accordingly you may need it at midnight in case of an emergency, not emptying your garbage bin for days even when it is full of junk and you only need to go a few steps to empty it, not polishing your shoes in the evening when you know that you need to leave early in the morning for an important job and you will wear those shoes, not reaching for most of your appointments on time, not completing your tasks on time, not arriving at your job on time, spending more or much more than your income, not following a proper daily routine of eating, bathing, working, relaxing and many other such things will be classified under lack of discipline.

To be Continued

Himanshu Shangari

Lack of Discipline 03

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Hence effective time management is a must have habit if you want to succeed at the top levels of various spheres of your life and if you do not have this habit, it means you have the other habit which is the opposite of this habit and which is called lack of discipline and which is most of the times accompanied by one more negative habit called ineffective time management, little time management or no time management. If you have this negative habit of lack of discipline and low value for your time, you will need to get rid of this habit as you simply can’t succeed at the top levels without getting rid of this habit.

As far as effective time management is concerned, it is not a very difficult habit to develop and most of us can develop this habit without much difficulty. In order to develop this habit simply start maintaining a schedule for your important day to day activities and you will start having this habit right away. For example, if you are doing a job which allows you only 2 hours of free time in the evening and Saturday and Sunday as free days, start planning your non-official tasks in a way that you may do them effectively in your free time. For example, instead of avoiding to do some compulsory home shopping or any other compulsory task on Saturdays and Sundays and then taking a leave or half day on the next Tuesday or Wednesday for the same shopping or other compulsory task, learn to do this shopping during Saturday or Sunday and save yourself from taking an unwanted leave.

Always remember if you want to succeed in your profession and you want to achieve at the top levels, you will have to put your work before most of the other things, most of the time in your life. Hence you should not stay away from your work or profession for much time, and for reasons which you have created yourself due to poor management of time and due to lack of discipline because a strong sense of discipline in the same situation will tell you strongly to get up and complete the shopping on Saturday, relax on Sunday and then go back to your job on Monday with no pending house jobs which may affect your performance at work. It is your performance at work alone which is going to decide the level of success you reach in your professional sphere, in most cases. Hence learn to develop a habit of effective time management by planning your tasks and by planning the other important jobs in a way that you may engage in them during your free time so that they may not affect your performance at work, in a negative way.

To be Continued

Himanshu Shangari